arcadia28: 4 (Default)
mike couldn't get my mittens for xmas :(
arcadia28: 4 (happy)
Name TEN things for which you are grateful today and tag FIVE others to do the same.

In no particular order...

1. i have fab friends :)
2. i have a wonderful fiancee
3. i have a nice mum....sometimes lol
4. food?
5. buck trying as hard to find us a place to live
6. buck making sure this xmas will be really nice for me
7. buck for paying for our xmas holiday away
8. buck for being as understanding and loving as he is.
9. mike getting my mittens from ebay
10.people selling cheap stuff on ebay :)


and did you know it's national kindness week this week. so i'm setting a challenge for everyone to do something nice for someone else :) be it buying flowers or choccies, giving someone a hug, getting a big issue from the big issue man. etc etc.

i suck :(

Nov. 7th, 2005 07:43 pm
arcadia28: 4 (sad)
i feel really bad, because buck and j wanted to hang out together. but it's the weekend buck comes down to see me. and i don't really get to see him. :( and he's my fiancee. and i feel greedy that i want him all to myself. and i don't like stopping him from seeing people...but when you're all alone. it really gets to you when you're other half goes out and you can't. and you know you can't. and it's even worse when the wekend, they wanted to hang out. this weekend. my only local friend is busy with a friend of hers. and so...i would have no one to hang out with. and i would get lonely. and jealous. a jealous jacy is a bad jacy to be around :"< so i kinda want buck to see both me AND j at the same time.kinda thing. but i'm kinda afraid of coming across all...selfish and controlling. because it's something i really don't want to be or do. and i don't want it to cause some trouble. or have that ackward vibe in the air. but...i miss j too :( but i don't want him to hate me, or summin :(

hmmm?

Nov. 5th, 2005 08:24 am
arcadia28: 4 (happy)
ok, this will be the last quiz only entry...ish. i know i've changed journals and such...but i feel lonely. and i adore everyone on my list. and it'll just makes things easier, if i stick with this journal :) what you guys think?




>SECTION 1 ABOUT YOURSELF
>+ Known as: jacy
>+ Lives in: surrey
>+ First Breath: 07/04/1985
>+ School: magna carta
>+ Hair color: ick
>+ Eye color: triple tone
>+ Fears: wasps, dentists and lonliness

>SECTION 2 HAVE YOU EVER...
>+ Cheated on someone? yeh, but he was a jerk and deserved it
>+ Been Cheated on? yeh, different jerk
>+ Fallen off the bed? ahahahahah, yeh, lots.
>+ broken someone's heart? yeh :( apparently
>+ Had your heart broken? YES, lots of times
>+ Had a dream come true? yeh, i've got buck :D my soulmate
>+ Done something you regret? i'm going with the philosophy, that nothing you do can you regret, because it's all a part of how you live and who you are and mistakes and in life it happens.
>+ Cheated on a test? no

>SECTION 3 CURRENTLY...
>+ Wearing? rollneck sleevless purple top, striped orage, red, brown and stone hoodie, and my huge flare jeans. so 70's lol
>+ Listening to? some cartoon on tv
>+ Located? in my bedroom
>+ Chatting with? no one :( mikes buggered off somewhere
>+ Watching? some naff action cartoon
>+ Should REALLY be doing? dancing in my nuddy pants :D

>SECTION 4 DO YOU...
>+ Brush your teeth? yeh, trying to take more better care for my teeth now.
>+ Like anybody? i like everybody whether they like me back or not :)
>+ Have any piercing? yeh my ears
>+ Drive? Nope
>+ Drink? Occasionaly
>+ Smoke? occasionaly
>+ Got a pager? No

>SECTION 5 FRIENDS...
>+ Who is your best? i have many lol, me lucky
>+ Who do you hate? i only hate one person in this world, and that's james, i swear if you ever met him, you know what i'm going on about.
>+ Who is the shyest? buck can be quite shy
>+ Who is the most talkative? katy lol
>+ Who is the prettiest? j (he's gorge :D)
>+ Who laughs the most? chanty
>+ Who have you known the longest? dani
+ Who have you known the shortest? i spose j, but i feel like i've known him for ages
>+ Who do you miss the most? everyone
>+ Who you go to with personal problems? buck, j, sarah, oh sarah a brilliant person to go to, becasue she's crazy and will make you crazy too lol
>+ Do you hang out with the opposite sex?yep :)
>+ Do you trust your friends? most
>+ Can you keep a secret? no lol, not really lol

>SECTION 6 THE LAST PERSON YOU...
>+ Hugged? buck
>+ IMed? Mike
>+ Talked on the phone? buck
>+ Yelled at? mike lol hehehehe

>SECTION 7 PERSONAL...
>+ What do you want to be when you grow up? cattery owner and poet :)
>+ What has been the best day of your life? getting purposed to
>+ What comes first in your life? buck and friends :)
>+ Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? yeh
>+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed? sleeeeeeeeeep
>+ How many times have you fallen in love? lots lol
>+ Love your family? yeh, though i don't think they love me, by how they act and what they say :(
>+ Love your friends? yep, very much

>SECTION 8 FAVORITE...
>+ Movie: at the mo i dunno
>+ Song: duno lol
>+ Groups: cursive, further seems forever, bleed the dream, etc etc
>+ Store: duno, somewhere cheap and kool
>+ Relative: duno
>+ Sport: badminton
>+ Ice Cream: choc chip
>+ Fruit: grapes
>+ Candy: choccy (expensive choccy)
>+ Holiday: Christmas
>+ Day of the Week: friday
>+ Time of day: afternoon
>+ Color: grey
>+ Name for a Girl: jessica
>+ Name for a Boy: gabriel
>+ Quote: the truth will set you free

>SECTION 9 DO YOU...
>+ Like to give hugs? yep
>+ Like to give kisses? yep
>+ Like to walk in the rain? sometimes :)
>+ Prefer black or blue pens? black
>+ Like to travel? yeh
>+ Sleep on your side, tummy or back? side
>+ Think you're attractive? no
>+ Have a goldfish? No
>+ Ever have the falling dream? yeh and it makes me jump myself awake :S
>+ Have stuffed animals? tonnes, i can never get rid of them, i cry :">

>SECTION 10 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT...
>+ Abortion: depends on the circumstances and the women
>+ Smoking: it's bad for you, but it's your choice
>+ Eating Disorders: don't suffer by yourself, tell people and seek help and don't give up getting better. i've been there, i know how hard it is.
>+ Suicide: it's not worth it. it causes more heartache than you know.
>+ Summer: it's ok when it's a comfortable heat, but when it gets too unbearable, then i don't liek it, that and wasps, eurgh. spawn of beezlebub lol
>+ Tattoos: i love tattoos
>+ Piercings: nice :)

>SECTION 11 THIS OR THAT...
>+ Pierced nose or tongue? Nose
>+ Single or taken? Taken
>+ MTV or BET? MTV
>+ 7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek? Dawsons creek I spose as I've never heard of 7th heaven
>+ Sugar or salt? Sugar
>+ Silver or gold? Silver
>+ Chocolate or flowers? choccy
>+ Color or Black-and-white photos? Black and white
>+ Stay up late or sleep in? Sleep in. staying up late is so lonely
>+ Hot or cold? Cold
>+ Sun or moon? moon
>+ Left or Right? left
>+ 10 Acquaintances or one best friend? one best friend, what's the point in having acquaintances if you can't talk properly with them
>+ Mustard or ketchup? ketchup
>+ Spring or Fall? fall
>+ Happy or sad? Happy
>+ Wonder or amazement? wonder, it lasts longer :)
>+ McDonald's or Burger King? maccy d burgers or nuggets and burger king fries :)
>+ Mexican or Italian food? italian
>+ Lights on or off? on, i don't like the dark
>+ Pepsi or Coke? coke

interesting

Nov. 2nd, 2005 09:02 pm
arcadia28: 4 (happy)
oooo nicked from renna, and i soooo wanna do this. please ppl comment. it'll make my day and you know this :) including insults. but i may be liable to hunt you down and shot you in places where you will suffer for several hours.....:)

Comment with a statement about Mina19. It can be a question, (which she must answer) an insult, or just a description. Be honest and candid. Put this in your journal and see what she says about you...

wow....

Oct. 5th, 2005 09:36 pm
arcadia28: 4 (happy)
hmmm....i was told that i've made complaining entries about claire, but i don;t think so, and if i have then i didn't mean them, but i don't think i have. i just think it was unfortuate the way things worked out. it was a shame we never spent that much time with each other, even as friends beforehand.

so if you like we could go for lunch sometime and have a mooch round the new mall, coz i haven't been there yet. i get paid on thursday so, thursday or afterwards would be kool :)

in other news i'm coming to norwich next week and hopefully seeing j on saturday. i wanna kickstart my social life now. i'm sick of having nothing to do and no one to see.
arcadia28: 4 (happy)
eeeeeo got my old phone working that hadnt worked for years and it had some v old text messages on there for 3 years ago, that me and my friend caroline did. some jokey type ones. kinda made me sad aswell. and then i played the ringtone and eeeeeeeee i was happy once more. it brought back many happy memories of 2002.
arcadia28: 4 (angry)
i've having troubles with buck. basically this week, i've been v mooky coz ive been worried about the hospital appointment and because of just living here, which is normal. and i thought buck would come down and cheer me up, like he normally does. but thoughtout the days he was down, he kept moaning, and stressing, and just being not nice. its like he got really aggressive in the woking car park when i wouldnt ask some couple if they were leaving or not. but i wouldnt coz i could already tell they were. and he got really agressive about it. then like last night he moaned that i don't ask ppl in shops for things i cant find that i want. i dont do things myself. which made me feel lousy. coz i cant help it. i dont like being outside at the best of times, coz im trying to battle my agorphobia ive got. and i'm not used to being outside and out amongst ppl i dont know. and then he said last night i've changed since he met me. i was more happy and upbeat and lively. but the thing was, i had just left a really bad relationship where i was pretty much shitted on all the time. and it was my first bit of freedom in years. *cries* i could go out and go on dates. i didnt have any ties or anything. and then i met buck and i fell madly in love with him. but now....i love him alot. but....i don't wanna be in another relationship where i feel shit all the time. it's like i hardly see him. and i'm just tired of long distant realtionships. i thought it would be better because he has a car, so we could see each other alot. but we don't. which i know isn't his fault. i just am starting to feel maybe i'm not good enough for him. but...i don't know what to do. i wanna go back to the girl buck fell for, when we were dating. where are my friends when i need them?

p.s. i'm tired of lying just to keep ppl happy, and ok. i just wanna be me. i try my best when it comes to other ppl, but it never works it seems.

i know not to run away from problems. and i know couple go through problems and stuff. and its a aprt of growing and stuff in the relationship. i guess we see how these months go till the end of the year. then see how it goes basically. i'm not gonna make the same mistake twice.

EDIT: i've talked to ppl and they all agree it sounds like i'm in a v dark place, myself. and its affecting those around me. so i'm going to brighton soon, for a break away. for a few days. just need a lil space at the moment, and sweetie if you're reading this, please dont get meepy. it's just a load of shit in my head. and i needed to write it down. i just wanna get better. none of this is your fault. and i'm sorry ive made you feel crappy lately with my weirdness.
arcadia28: 4 (Default)
so i had fun, housitting some dogs, they were soooooo cute and funny, hehehhheehe. it was good not to be moaned at. so relaxy. and i felt so at home. i really wanna get my own place now. :( im sick of living here, and im getting home sickness for norwich, even though home is in surrey (not by choice). and i probably wont b moving out till early part of next year apparently, coz buck and me are broke. :(
im so glum
glum glum glum

im also tired aswell
and missing buck v v v v v much, i was getting used to him being around all the time. but now he's back home and i miss him so. it dont feel right. he should be all snuggled next to me right now. *mooky face*

but...i did see mikey today, yay, the mikeyness and i got some anime stuffs and family guy film off of him and my belated bday pressie, even though im getting lax at bdays myself and i forgot to get him one, ooopsy. but yeh. its weird i love him but hate him. he's like my annoying lil brother kinda thing lol
hehehhe...thing lol. eh....as a kid ive always wanted a brother or sister....so i guess ive got one now :)

but yes doggies, rosie and holly, v playful lol. we got them some new squeaky ball toys while we were ther and they went nutty over them lol. which was funny as we could hear the squeaks all the way up to the bedroom when they were down in the livingroom lol. i was so sad to leave, but i got doggy kisses and cuddles lol. and i was itching to see my cats again....and when i came home, none of them wanted to know me :( so im beginning to miss the dogs.
arcadia28: 4 (happy)
so i got bitched at this morning by my mum, blah.
anyway, ive had 4 hours sleep and im just about to go to bed lol
and i finally got some mail today
mail..for me???
yaaaay
i have excel saga vol. 4
eeeeeeeeeeee excited excited
and i finally got my letter from sarah, some days late, but nm, it was still kool
and i got my package from hong kong
oooo hong kong lol
and it had my fone cover
yep to my new fone that i adore
eeeeeeeee new fone
cameraness

then i went into staines and got my new hat which i adore its a biker flat cap type hat, and its beige and corduary, i love it. *is wearing it with happiness*
and i bumped into one of my old school friend today in waitrose and had a mini chat, and she asked me what i had been upto, i decided it was safer to say alot, than to list everything. and i asked her what she had been upto and she said college and uni and part time work in waitrose, i was like, kl kl. nodded and said goodbye and went. i felt momentarily deflated. but then...i thought.... well at least my life is different. and not the norm. so thats something to be proud of. and i still have alot to do yet.
arcadia28: 4 (Default)
i dont get it, why does the government and everyone on about ppls weight and if they're over like size 12 , theyre gonna die from obesity. and then you have a barriage of diet books and exsercise dvds. i mean it gets to the point where you look at yourself in the mirror and you ask yourself, am i too fat?? and your inner bully says YES YOU ARE, YOU ARE JUST HUGE WHALE BLUBBER. so then you start starving yourself, eating every type of diet food ther is on the market, and you know you should sign up to that gym, or take that walk. but its like parading yourself in public, saying, yes im fat and im disgusting i need to lose weight. so its humiliating. but i spose if you go out with a friend aswell, its not so bad. i mean i tried it today, walking on my own up to the garage. and all the way ther, i was telling myself im fat, i need to lose weight. and then to get ther, turn around and walk bak, i felt like a twat. and why does it matter what strangers think of me, walking by huffing and puffing. and why...is it, i get depressed if some of my jeans dont fit me anymore :S. and i feel sick when i look at my tummy hanging over my trousers. oh and ppl start asking you if you're expecting, i mean thats the cracker right ther. its like, ages ago, everyone were proud to be large and stuff. and they had campaigns like, big is beautiful.
its like, on tv, you have some skinny young perky things doing programmes about food is bad for you, its true, chicken, pork, meat in general, veggies, certain veggies, bread, milk, blha blah blah. its like, ok so what is ok to eat?? when does this stop, when near enough all the population is anorexic, and is that the next thing to battle?? thats a point, what about all the young teens and ppl who are skinny but think theyre fat, having all this garbage shoved down their throats all the time. no wonder everyone in this country is miserable, they look in the mirror and they hate themselves, because to them, they think they look ugly. but i think everyone is beautiful, its about the inside. and everyone is different. so instead i look in the mirror and i nod to myself, no matter how sad that sounds, and i smile, coz i accept myself for who i am, podge and all lol
arcadia28: 4 (happy)
so...finally got here and life away from home for a few days is fab. and i have been shopping like a mad irish woman. i love irish so dont have a go at me :P. i have managed to get excel saga vol. 5 on dvd also ring 2 on dvd too, all for 5 pounds each, bargain! also i have new fone, its like bucks but a newer version with cam, yay. ermmmm and i cant remeber what else i got. lol but thats typical. oh... i got a nice purple butterfly clip thingie. woop. and i met bucks uncle, who's kool and his wife. and i have just found out that they used to be high school sweethearts, and they got married 3 years ago, how schweeeeet. also today i had j ring buck and we all had a quick chat with him, and i send my love. :) i need to get my new dancemat 2muro when i get home :) ermmm and ive gotta set summin up with sarah and/or ruth to go see madagascar at the cinema in staines. oh yeh and bowling, i met some more of bucks mates and i tlked to buddha and yay, im liked. though i was knackered yesterday and nerly didnt go at all. so yeh i met graham aswell and we got on v v well. ooo just stinky kittied in bucks chair teehheehee. so yeh anyway.....ermm we went to tescos and i got some yums yums. hehehe so all in all fun day :D have made up with peeps aswell.

oh yeh and i accidently sat in bird poop in the norwich city market. on the stone ledge *Embarrased*
arcadia28: 4 (happy)
right....well, i wrote a better poem for j....coz at the mo, he's blue, but dealing with things, which is good. v v v good. so here it is..

oh its long by the way lol

.....

When the glitter fades
Around your eyes
Where will you be
Where will you go
Who will be there
By your side
Wiping up your tears within

Don't cry to be seen
Would you rather be happy
In the shadow
Or unhappy in crowds of ppl

And under your blemished crown
We see the truth
Your perfection
In your naked soul

Yet you hide
And hide somemore
What's left
Hidden inside
That even you can't
Find

No misconceptions
No lies
Or tales of happiness

Unused tales of love
Seem all to swept up
In years of torment


You hold a song in your heart
The describes a bitter side of you
One of sorrow and pain
But whisper a different tune
And place a skip in your step
Because soon it'll be over
And everything you coulda done
Is lost in one blink of your eye

See the child
See the boy
See the girl
Then see yourself
Standing beside them
And know you have a place
In this world

Your trust has been hanging
On that tree for too long
That wall has been stained
With blood for too many years
Where are the fond memories
Lost in the recesses of your mind

You past is gone
Lost in hurt
In bottles of tears
That youve collected for years
And every year you punish youself
For forgetting that someone
Thought you weren't perfect

But you are
Just look inside
And see
What i see


Because you don't need to be held up
But you can if he wanted to
Because forever
I know
I'll behind your back
Ready to catch you when you fall
When this world gets to much
When the pain gets unbearable
Or your mind falls apart
I'll help you find your pieces

J....
I know
And i still love you.
arcadia28: 4 (happy)
so i might be moving into norwich sooner than i thought. im looking at before sept. but still it seems things are moving, monday im going to norwich to see ppl. having a mini holiday. then aug, have holiday somewhere. i know j's busy so i know he probably wouldnt have asked his aunt? gran? either one about the caravan in the middle of no where lol but it doesnt matter.. ME GOING TO SCOTLAND INSTEAD!!! yes, finally it looks like i might be able to go. yay. i loooove scotland. with the sheep...yeee-ahhh. in true farmer fashion. lol. then in september proper house search just me and buck. but yeh, at the mo, its houseshare. maybe with katy and her bf mic, coz he lives in london at the mo....bit like me. but i live outside london. not that far, mind. so woop. seen hundreds, so yeh, ther are some about. ao yay :D. but yeh, tlks will commense on monday. eeeeeeeeee i cant wait

oh and i swallowed by pride and nerves.
knowing im probably gonna get some sort of rejection from this
but ive added claire again of my friends list

some may think im crazy
but i cant help it

again, i ask myself why
she dont like me
neither does mel for some reason aswell

what the hell have i done??
its just like randomly they hate me
i mean ok, fair enough i blocked claire on msn
but that was out of jealousy. coz i was still in love with her
and she was going on about stu all the time
and it got to me
but im deeply in love with buck
v v v v v much

heh, its funny, what katy said...
Melted Charcoal: i miss sarah :( (claimed and engaged to the buck) with buck, we just fit and we tlk about everything and anything for hours on end

Melted Charcoal: i miss sarah :( (claimed and engaged to the buck) :and we share alot in common and he's the most genuine guy i know

·$6~*Fallen*~ ·$#8000FF... -:~DAWN~:-.Defences around Byzantium. ·$#EC00EC| It's unclear about how we met. | lol, i know buck a lil, and i swear you guys are the same! you both get along so well, and you just cant get enough of each other. i love seeing you two together, coz you blatently appreciate each other. i hate couples who fight all the time

true, i do adore the sockpuppet. hehehehehe. so cute. heheeheh.
but yeh i felt happy and kinda guru-ie today. and i...i duno..i was just woke up thinking of todd....its coming up to that time soon. but itll be better this year. mmmmm. and i'll be moved by then. so it eases it better, if im away from surrey. to many memories. not good. drives me crazy.

for Mel

Jun. 23rd, 2005 10:23 am
arcadia28: 4 (sad)
you missed out on a loyal friend :(

im fed up

May. 20th, 2005 12:31 am
arcadia28: 4 (angry)
and jealous

and i know i sound selfish in this journal, but damn it im gonna rant. it happens time and time again. i dont want to get pissy every time buck goes out with his friends, but in all honesty, im jealous, because whenever that happens im always stuck at home. while hes out having fun with his friends. and then i get mad at him for being depressed coz hes always pestered to go out and blah, no one undertsnads him blah. feel so alone in a crowd, blah, YEH?? FUCKING LIVE AT HOME SINCE YOU'RE SIXTEEN AND HAVE ALL YOUR FRIENDS LEAVE HOME AND NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN. that may have come across as being angry at hime for moaning, but its not. everyone copes in different ways to their own *petty* problems. and yeh i may sound like im the only one allowed to have problems, but fuck it, its my rant i can damn well say what i want to.

i have mr-lost-soul-of-norwich out clubbing with his mates. drinking. being merry with all his looovely friends till 4 in the morning, possibly later......WHILE IM STUCK HERE LISTENING TO MY DAD SNORE AND GIVING DATING ADVICE TO ANDY.

then i have today redhill sso ring me up saying theyve found my form but unfortuently its too late for them to process it....and i need to complete the form over the phone as the one that they sent is practically useless. so i ring up this new claims department, and im left on the phone for 2 hours waiting, i felt like bashing the phone against the wall, finally i get an answer from someone who sounded like she was on drugs, taking details and generally not knowing what the fuck shes going on about, so anyway she said that she needs to get someone else to take more details and theyd call me back, so she starts checking dairies, then lo behold! she calls me back saying that someone will ring me on 31st of may to complete the forms, questions like work, courses, volunteer work, i couldve saved her the trouble right ther and then, IVE DONE BUGGER ALL FOR YEARS COZ IM SICK YOU DUMB ARSE FUCKER!!!!

then i ring buck and he plays silly buggers and tried to do a prank on me by making me think i had dialled the wrong number.....*raised eyebrow* not a wise mood. i could hear him gulping through the phone to me. he knew what was coming, the rant about the crappy day...oh but i havent told you all about it yet... oh no, thers more. this is your ultimate shitty day coming to you.

yeh so anyway after the rant to buck i had my mother pop her head round my door, shame it werent through, but maybe some other day maybe. and say that she forgot to buy my chicken burgers so thers only this old mouldy weight watchers microwavable shepherds pie. it looks and taste worse than economy versions from any shop know to humainty. my cat wouldnt eat it....so i dragged mum out, i think one look of my face and she knew....today was not the day to disagree with me. especiall with new neighbours next door.

so in sainsburys got vimto, yum, then found the masses of ques EVERYWHERE!!! so i had to weight in a line for the baskets, with just one item while ppl in front had whole basket fulls overflowing with junk. then one of them turned around and said hi, it was emily from nacro. i think i scared her with my cynicism of todays events and actually this years events. summed up in 4 words: IVE BEEN TO HELL!!!

and im still in a bad mood. i tried rining buck but he couldnt hear me in his looovely club he was in with all his mates. i felt likecrying out of lonliness. and he wouldnt shut up. and then i tried ringing mike, but he wouldnt pick up, tried ringing sarah, same dealy. so now, imtlking to andy and mike. *sigh*
its like these nights where i start thinking about commiting myself into an ayslum.
arcadia28: 4 (angry)
i wanna be a youth worker, hence partly why im gonna go to a local youth group near me to help and discapline the lil bleeders mwahahahaha. was thinking bout sometime setting up a youth counsellor ther, i.e ME :D. a kinda peer counsellor. its summin im thinking of doing when im better one day :) but until then il do as much as i can :)

anyway havent updated in ages, basically, ive had a bad eye, it stung soo much, finally figured out yesterday it must of been some grease on my fingers from maccy ds got rubbed into my eye by accident, because it had been itching because i hadnt slept well the night before, because of crappy benefit ppl. ah yes, thats right yep, the lil fuckers have lost my sick note and my old has run out, also theyve lost an important form for income support, then they tried to blame it on me. so they sent me another form which i have to send off... AGAIN. along with a copy of the sick note. i just hope they dont lose this one. but yeh im gtting nothing at all at the mo, im living off a mesily sum of £5 pw from my parents. thats to spend on anything i want at the weekend, im not a happy lil kitty. i feel about 10 again, with pocket money. i feel very digraded. and buck dont understand that. that i hate asking him for money at the weekend, coz i dont have much myself. and i know he dont have much himself. which makes me even more crappier.

so anyway, basically got down on my hands and needs, about gtting the new h.i.m dvd, and omg its soooo worth it. havent been able to watch it properly. but i think ville valo looked best with the short curly hair in a bob. omg THE SACRAMENT. best ever vid i think. that and join me in death. mmmm, tasty. but not with long hair, many ppl liked him with long hair but i thought it looked crap

and omg, im sooo missing foamy cartoons right now :( because of crappy internet, but hopefully with miscrosoft service pack 2 it should kill all the bleeding hackers on my computer, nicking stuff and planting stuff in my programs file. grrrr. and nothting gets rid of them. it sux.

oh and the first time in days i turn my msn on, and it works now, and guess who i get moaning to me how crap his life is. mr. stalker andy, with his, oh jacy, life sucks, i cant get a gf, i do nothing but drink, why dont ppl like me, waa waa waa. i got so fed up last time i just told him the truth, no one likes you coz you are a loser, you drink to much, your desperate for anyone to lve you which scares any girl off. you have mono eyebrow that distances girls from going anywhere near you. you moan constantly and YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE!!!

whhhhhhhhhhhy??? do i bother listening or even tlk to him??? you no why??? coz im a sap for lost souls and they dont come as lost as he is. believe me. and even when i try and palm him off to other ppl. he doesnt say one word to them. oooo arent i so special *glares* hes like a fucking limpet, a mouldy one. who do you get limpets off stones plz, prehaps i can get him off me.

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arcadia28

November 2012

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