I am feeling abit monotonal. I really like the fact i've vastly improved my friendship with kimmy and in a way i feel like i've gotten closer to her, which is nice. We do have alot in common and i think she's awesome. But her awesomeness is kinda overwhelming, because she's the type of person i wish i could be. But she is unique and i don't want to copy her as so many do try already, because we are all our own people and besides it wouldn't make her so unique anymore, which would be a shame.
At the same time though, i look at her life and all the groovy things she creates and i think..why can't i be that awesome. I feel beige in comparison. Like i'm nothing special and nothing to really offer the world. I try so much with different things and i just don't pull them off :( i fail at alot of things. The only thing i'm awesome at, is giving advice to people when they need it. Oh and looking after cats. I have alot of art and creativity in my mind but whenever i try to express it, it never comes out the way i want it to. I think i'm quite good at photography, but i do tend to pick what could be called boring subjects - i'm fascinated by shape, pattern, texture and colour. I'm good with philosophy. Also i'm a fantastic shopper. But there's more in my mind than that, i compose stories and movies and music videos and clothing designs and photographs, etc. It's like i have this awesome person in my head, and then there's the reality me who is abit...lame.